Last night I was up till 2:30 in the morning talking to Jake and Vincent online and I set up my webcam so I could make funny faces at them and show Jake all the stuff of his I still have. We were talking for about 2 or 3 hours and I laughed a lot, that felt nice. I've known Vincent longer, which is totally weird because we've never met in person. Him and Jake are the 2 people I know I can tell absolutely anything to and they won't think I'm a total asshole. Vincent and i talked about my current predicament and he reminded me that this is not the first and last time I will feel like total shit, he's been listening to me through every guy for the last 4 years, I can't believe he hasn't told me to shut up yet.
I miss Jake a whole lot though, June can't come soon enough. Its been a year since I've seen him now, and going back there now is like suicide although I might go this month with my dad.
I don't know if talking to you last night was a good or bad thing. There were so many things I wanted to say but I didn't. When you tell me that you still love me its hard to understand why love alone is not enough. But I've been there before so I guess I do understand a little.
I need another vacation. I'm not going to my painting class because I can't handle it right now.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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