i have never been so bored in my life. something new needs to happen as soon as possible. my heart literally aches from all this recent activity. i want to get a job, but i can't for another two weeks because i won't pass the drug tests.
bad day bad day.
as much as i thought this was all over, its not. i still feel like shit inside at times. most of the day i'm alright, but of course my mind races thinking of what might happen next.
the truth is, im just tired. im so tired of all my days being rainy.
i watched the news last night and saw the videos of the cows being horribly mistreated, and broke my non-crying streak.
i need something to make me feel better, just anything. I hate that some people are going to take this as my weakness, because it truly is, and i dont want you all to know. Its impossible for me to make myself feel better. I don't need it in the form of a boyfriend or any relationship, just someone to tell me it will be alright, and take a walk with me.
i don't know whats happened to me, i feel like a child.
"and if i can't make myself feel better,
how can i expect anyone else to give a shit?"
1 comment:
i will always care about you. so even though i am far away you need to know that there is always someone here for you to talk to. I love you Brandi-pants. Take Care of YOURSELF. xo
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