The Drowning

I can't wait to move out of my fucking house.

I moved into a house with 4 people I didn't know and that was the worst idea, ever. I just went to the first place I could afford to get out of a hellish relationship. Theres been talk of us not getting back the 1000$ security deposit for some bullshit reason, and before I pay rent on March 1st I want to know for sure. If we aren't getting it back I'm moving out before then and living with Connor and his Dad until June when we can get a place with our friends Ashley and Chris.

I'm tired of being dicked around by some asshole holding the books, making me pay out the ass for the worst house I've ever lived in. Despite my shitty roommates existing I have to exist around all of their shit, literally, dog shit, human shit, cat shit. I shouldn't have to see this much shit in one day.

I can't wait to wake up in the morning to a quiet house around people who aren't going to ask me for outrageous favors, chain smoke with the windows closed, or scream at each other till three in the morning about ex boyfriends. Things will be at peace and harmony, I'll be able to think, breathe, live, again.

I fucking hate my shitty house.

The Followers/VDAY

New Years Eve pictures finally surfaced..yikes.

This is the first time I haven't been able to sleep in months. I usually pass out and sleep like a rock through the entire night, but I napped too late. Connor took the nap to a whole other level and has called it a night. Funny how our sleep changes when we are where we are.

I can't believe I actually have followers on this thing. I've been writing my angsty shit in here for years and it's finally picking up some steam. I'm not really sure anyone trying to get to know me should read this electronically filed garbage dump of a blog. I do have happy days too, ya know.

Valentines Day was amazing, the best. Connor took me out for sushi at our favorite sushi place and then to play pool! Which doesn't sound very romantic, but it holds sentimental value in our relationship, and it was fun. He bought me FLOWERS my favorite color, which I'm sure you didn't know was yellow. He went out and bought himself something nice to wear, but he didn't need much guidance, he's a man who cares about his appearance (sorta) and I love it. We looked real nice and I wore a really loud dress in his favorite color which is yellow. He bought me chocolate and a giant stuffed heart and a giant stuffed cupcake...he really knows my taste. We came home afterwards, watched a marathon of intervention and drank some wine. It couldn't have been a better Valentines Day, and it must've been good because I can't remember any other time I enjoyed celebrating the 'holiday.'

At least once a week one of us always has to take a second to come back to reality and remember all the shit we went through just to be together now and it really is one of the craziest/worst/best year of my life. It was all worth it though, I can't imagine the position I'd be in now if I never went for the prize. It's really a shame that Connor's name has been dragged through the dirt the most in the end of this, because he really is the most caring, gentle, generous, and compassionate bear I've ever known. Things are looking up though, people seem to be coming to their senses (a little). It's been about a year now since the drama llama walked into my life, but I said goodbye over a month ago.

In other spectacular news, I finally found a new job. I was hired by a cafe in the area that hasn't opened yet. I mean REALLY in my area, it's only a 10 minute bike ride into the college ghetto. We had an orientation last week where we got to meet all of the opening staff, we talked about the general idea and concept of what we wanted it to be like and I couldn't be happier. The owner is really innovative and we've got some really nice hippies making farm food, I'm excited. I'm not sure when the opening date is, but definitely before March!