So I went for about 2 hours and then went to the beach to walk for a bit. There's this flowing river of water that leads into the ocean and it has a bunch of rocks in it so when the water isn't flowing so much you can get across. I stood there for about 5 minutes just thinking "I can get across this." the weather is disgusting today and the water is flowing really fast so when I jumped on the rocks I didn't realize until then how horribly ridiculous this idea was. I got about half way across and realized I couldn't make it without getting my shoes wet so when I bend down to take them off the rocks wabbled and I fell in the fucking freezing water and I just sat there laughing for a while. Its the only thing ive genuinely laughed at in 2 days.
I got up and sat on the beach for a while just listening to beirut and looking out. It reminded me of these bright eyes lyrics that just said something like life doesn't apologize for the things that hurt you, because it doesn't owe you that. I think that's true. No matter how shitty I feel or how depressed I am the waves will keep rolling and I will keep making stupid decisions about braving a freezing river.
I feel better today, still sad because I just wish I could talk to you, but better.
" Life is too short
Death doesn't ask
It don't owe you that
Some things you lose
You don't get back
So just know what you have
And make a plan to love me sometime soon"
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