Ridiculous

Last night I had a dream that I went on a date with a friend. We had coffee, held hands, and had an awesome kiss. It has been over a year since I've felt special to someone and it feels like shit. I have been a serial dater since I can remember, being single was really cool at first, but not having that feeling in your soul that someone else is thinking of you, wants to sleep next to you every night, share adventures, is really sad actually.

I work in a harsh work environment full of smug men and bitchy women, coming home to that comfort and stability would be all I could ask for. But then again, knowing that the last relationship I was in was mostly lies, makes me want to sleep forever.

I have been in Yosemite for three months and it's been a very bumpy road. I saved money for a year to buy a car that broke down after a month, I borrowed a car from my parents that was then totaled by my roommate in less than a month. I live with mixed feelings in this house constantly and it is weighing heavy. The people here make the mountains feel like a different planet, most of them have no idea what life is like outside of this place and I find myself longing for things I can't have constantly.

Please, something, give me a fucking break.