the love song

I swear on all things holy, if any future lovers play and sing me this song, I'll never fall out of love.



I love how your eyes close
Whenever you kiss me
And when I'm away from you
I love how you miss me
I love the way your kiss is always heavenly
But darling, most of all
I love how you love me

I love how your heart beats
Whenever I hold you
I love how you think of me
Without being told to
I love the way your touch is always tenderly
But darling, most of all
I love how you love me

I love how your eyes close
Each time that you kiss me
And when I'm away from you
I love how you miss me
I love the way your kiss is always heavenly
But darling, most of all
I love how you love me

the flood of news

jake never ceases to give me amazingly funny stories.

No amount of drugs can justify that you are a big fat hypocrite, I take back every single ounce of guilt i ever felt for falling out of love with you and into the arms of someone else. And you had the nerve to try and tear me down over the INTERNET.

FUCK YOU.

the drive

I went shopping with my mom at Ikea today and got a new duvet cover that is black. I feel more comfortable sleeping in dark sheets, it's weird. I also talked to Jake this morning, and found out he's going to be here for two days instead of just one! West 44 is going with Broadway Calls to Warped Tour and I get to come with, obviously the best news in a while.

I got really emotional with my mom in the car on the way back because I missed Jake a lot, and I was telling her about how stressed I am, and how i wished he was just here to cuddle with me.

I also got a new black sweater at H&M, and a beige top with pretty floral lace. It sounds very 3rd grader, but it's cute. I'm going to start wearing all black, after my hair goes all blonde, it'll look really nice.



It seems I am always missing someone.

"Keep me safe inside,
Your arms like towers,
tower over me."
if you know who these lyrics are from, please god don't tell anyone else.

The work is never over

this is the only picture i have from Justice, my camera phone sucks.

Last night Diplo played his mix of Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. I threw up my pyramid as well as many other Daft Punk fans did. I heard this kid behind me say, "uhh was everyone doing that at Daft Punk?" You're right sir, we DID! July 27th 2007, greatest event of my life. Justice and Diplo are coming in second, though.

Diplo (ft. Daft Punk): mp3 Work Is Never Over


(credit for the link to Tashed)

the groundbreaking

I went to Justice last night, the entire night was incredible and life changing.

It was packed inside, at first it didn't seem like many people were there but they started piling in when Diplo started. The entire room was baffled by Fancy and didn't know how to react to them. It was seriously The Darkness reincarnated. Diplo went on and I had a blast, the people I was with left to take care of Beth because she felt sick. I felt bad, but I stayed in the crowd because I figured there was nothing I could do. Erin was there with me for a little while, but then we left to find them and we couldn't so I went back into the crowd. Before we left I had been dancing next to this guy who was really cute and was smiling at me, so when I went back in I found him again, and within three minutes i felt a hand on my hip and i was like WHAT IS GOING ON. So i kept dancing, and then i felt another hand on my other hip, and then I realized that the cute guy who had been smiling at me, was now dancing behind me!

I danced with him during Diplo, and then out of nowhere he just started kissing me! Meanwhile, all of these thoughts are racing through my mind like, I don't even know this guy, how old is he? where is he from? what is his name!? Then I stopped thinking, and kept dancing and smiling because I knew it didn't matter. After Diplo I left with him to get some water and I tried to find my friends. I found Keith and told him I had met someone to dance with and I'd see them later, I was sort of intoxicated so of course I made a big deal out of it. I know he was just looking out for me, but I could take care of myself. I went back and found the guy again, I later found out his name was Rohad, and he was 19. He had dark skin, dark hair and green eyes, he was so adorable. We danced and made out through all of Justice, hahaha. I started to feel funny so I went to find Keith, I stayed with them for a little while, next to us these two guys started literally fucking each other and it was extremely awkward.

I had told Rohad that I would be back, but a half hour had passed, and I couldn't find him anywhere. I thought I spotted him across the concourse, so I ran over to the other side, but it wasn't him. I went back towards the crowd and I spotted him sitting down right in plain view! We danced for the rest of Justice and when it was over he asked me to come to the Popscene after party but I couldn't go because I'm not yet 18. I didn't really know what to do, so when I said goodbye i just said, "I guess I'll just see you around." He kissed me goodbye and walked away! It was the weirdest thing! No exchange of numbers, or emails, or anything! He looked sad, but I didn't know how to go about things like this!

The entire night let me realize that I have a huge life ahead of me and I need to stop and enjoy all the crazy things, like Rohad, when they come along. Could you imagine what would've happened if I was still in a relationship? Rohad would've never happened. I am happy to be free, and plan to be so for a really long time.

I will probably never see him again, but maybe that's the joy in it, right?

the awkward day

Talking to people you haven't in three years, is a very good idea. It gives you hope that people change, and we are not all 9th graders for the rest of our lives. I'm really happy that things worked out well, because back then I wasn't sure how smoothly things go would for you.

Tonight is Justice, I'm excited, but not. The concert will probably be great, but the situation not so much. I'll let you know.

the difficulty

Talking to Vincent tonight has helped me, a lot. I'm still confused, but I think I'm wandering closer to the track now. I have to accept the fact that I will never be whisked away by my Parisian knight in tight black jeans. Sticking with my plan is more than likely the best option I've got.

Even if I'm not 100% sure I'm cut out for photography, I should just do it and stop being a baby about all the other things I could be doing instead of going to school. Like, moving to New Orleans and living on Vincent's living room floor trying to discover myself. Or, moving to Portland where I could afford to live on my own but more than likely I would never leave or go to school.

I'm really glad I have Vincent to talk to though, he's really the only person I tell absolutely everything to. He went through all the shit I'm going through now years ago, so his insight is a huge bonus. His advice is Freaks and Geeks quality, not Saved By the Bell.

Life is difficult, but it's not like anyone hasn't gotten through it before.

the urge

All of my greatest emotions come out at one in the morning on a school night. I have class tomorrow at 11, so waking up at 9 should be no problem.

This is sort of like an itch you can't scratch. I'm confused as to whether I want to stay in San Francisco and go to college here next year. I still am not 100% convinced that I can be a photographer, and if I'll be able to live off of it. If I don't stay here, I don't know where else I'd go. I want a change, I want to start over, a new beginning.

I want to live in Paris and dress in black and wear red lipstick and wake up to open French doors the summer. I want to ride on the back of motorcycle with my dark haired and dark eyed Parisian boyfriend. He will teach me French and hold hands with me all the time. Ian will film this "dark-romantic documentary," so I'd have it to watch in my old age. But in this dream, obviously I'd never grow old!

I don't want to sleep in this dungeon anymore. I don't want to wake up at 12 and watch movies from the library and constantly refresh Digg all day. I want to do something with my life, I need to do something with my life. I feel like I have no purpose. I can't remember the last time I smiled out of pure happiness, it's been a while.

the surprise

i got a message from Jackson today, we haven't spoken in at least 3 years. It seems much longer though. His timing is unbelievable, when I'm questioning where I went wrong from the beginning.

The Iraq soldier death count reached 4,000 today, Cheney responded with, "they volunteered." I can't express in words how infuriated I am with humanity today.

the crew

I have been sucked into watching America's Best Dance Crew on MTV for the entire season. From the beginning my vote was always for JabbaWockeez, they are incredibly talented. I've sent my vote in almost 25 times! I hope they win, they definately deserve it. This video is long, but it has all of their performances from the show except the very last episode. All of them tie together and begin exactly where the last one ended, i've never seen anything like it. This week is the season finale, they're up against another group who shouldnt even be there.

the corny movie-thon

I went out this morning with my family to an easter egg hunt for my brother and sister. We went to this park I went to as a kid and had a huge weird deja-vu moment. I hate going places I went when I was a kid because it feels like I've lived so many different lives with all the places I've lived.

In the Bay Area, I grew up. I don't really remember much of San Diego. I got awkward in Hawaii, and in New Mexico I found myself. Being back here in San Francisco feels like another new beginning.

When we got home a bunch of corny movies were on, I started watching Titanic up until it started flooding because it scares the shit out of me. I started having a panic attack as soon as the guys got trapped in the boiler room. I turned it and The Hot Chick was on, and then 13 Going on 30 is on now, then next is The Girl Next Door. I'm feeling lonely today.

the normalcy

Today, I was happy. There isn't much more to say than that.

This girl does beautiful Elliott Smith covers.

Twilight


"I'm nice to you
I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me, baby?

Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I got no fight"

Angel In the Snow


"Don't you know that I love you?
Sometimes I feel like only a cold still life
Only a frozen still life
That fell down here to lay beside you"

my two favorite Elliott Smith songs, she's got a chilling voice.

the embrace

I'm going to embrace, and welcome, the fact that my hair goes wavy and curly if I want it to. Ever since i cut off all of my mushy bleached greeny-blue hair, it's gotten wavy. I don't mind it, my hair has been stick straight since I was a kid, i think it's time for a change.

I dreamed last night that I found and job and slept over at Jake's house. I woke up and had another dream I've dreamed before, I don't remember what happened, but I know Brad was in it.

They keep playing American History X on FX at weird times, they don't show the curb stomp. I've seen it about 4 times now, but I still think The Believer with Ryan Gosling was better.


Giuseppe Andrews is incredibly dreamy and weird. He was in Detroit Rock City, American History X, and Never Been Kissed. He currently lives in a trailer park in Florida, his story is so weird.

the protest

Today was the 5th year anniversary of the war, and I went to the peace rally in the city. It was a really good turn out, and we got a lot of news coverage. I saw myself on CBS 11 o'clock news holding the banner! Ian and I were right up front leading with almost 2000 people behind us.

i found me in a photo on Flickr!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/metroblossom/2347201918/

im in the center, holding the banner with the orange scarf and grey sweatshirt

the stars

my newspaper horoscope never lies!

I'm glad I got to tell you I was sorry even if you thought it meant nothing. I'm not as horrible as you think though, seriously. What I did to you almost two years ago now, was mean and wrong, but I am in no way that same person.

"Life is how it is, not how it was."

the name

I went back and read a bunch of my posts, some remind me of happier times, others remind me of when I was completely ridiculous, and others remind me of my fits of instant rage.

I noticed that i have mentioned Jake's name in about 17 posts. We have a strange relationship that is too hard to explain, and too intricate for you to understand. It's actually not that hard to explain, maybe it's just too weird. If you've ever seen the movie A Lot Like Love, you will understand mine and Jake's relationship. He is someone who comes in and out of my life, who I will always love.

Sometimes he stays longer than others, but no matter how many times he comes and goes, i will always feel the same happiness when he comes back. I love him as a best friend, as a confidant, as the only person who I would ever consider marrying (because we would have so much fun). He's the only reason why I have unlimited text messaging, and the only person who makes me giggle every time he tells me I'm cute. Just the thought of cuddling up next to him in a few weeks makes me smile. He gets me out of bad moods, and answers his phone when I am crying, and then tells me stories about how many girls he's chasing. I don't hate the girls he falls in love with because I'm jealous, I hate them because they can't possibly see the Jake that I do. I know they don't see the Jake that gives them gum and high-fives.

I love you, and I always will.

"And besides, you're probably holding hands,
With some skinny, pretty girl,
That likes to talk about bands,
And all I want to do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and watch cartoons."

the scientist

"nobody said it was easy."

i got to hang out with Twyla all day, she shopped for her prom dress and I got to make fun of the silly ones. why do prom dresses have pockets now? I bought a new hat and some shoes, the same white ones i had before they got ruined in the rain and nailed to a board.

On BART on the way home, i became instantly bummed. She was the first familiar face I've seen outside of my immediate family in months. We were supposed to be going to New Mexico this month, but now it's being pushed to next. I want to see Jake, and I want to see Brad before he goes off in the military.

My whole family is breaking apart, husband against wife, sister against brother, mother against son. Only two or so months in this house, thank god. Everyone is under an immense amount of stress for different reasons, and we're all taking it out on each other.

I'm most excited about seeing Jake just to give him a hug, and do a lot of crying. It's true, we will cuddle and cry for days.

the early morning

it's 2:20 am, and I'm not sure what I should be complaining about this early. I could ramble about how I'm stressed out beyond belief. I don't know if I can go through with paying for my own housing. Every day I'm reminded of how I can't, but it makes me want to even more. I'm pretty sure I've got it all figured out though. All I need is a job, a bank account, and a loan. I'm tired of thinking about this.

I could go insane like Daniel Johnston and try to crash my dad's plane into some trees, or get arrested in New York for drawing Jesus-fish inside of The Statue of Liberty. I feel bad for people who are learning English, for example the word "fish" can be used as singular or plural, "read" can be past and present tense, there are too many exceptions in my language, and I'm sorry i wish there wasn't.

there their they're your you're which witch

I'm not pissed he's got a new girlfriend already, I'm pissed at the fact that I'm going to have to spend a night with him in two weeks, pretending i don't give a shit. I guess it's somewhat the truth though, I shouldn't give a shit because being an asshole about it won't change anything. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I don't need him apologizing for ten minutes either, because it only wastes time I don't want to spend talking about it, and thats why I never call him anymore. What's there to say really? I swear it would've been easier to just hate him, I wish he wasn't so nice.

The brother

<3

the 18 hours

I have spent 18 hours of the last three days watching Freaks and Geeks. i finished the season a few minutes ago, I teared up! I will love you Nick Andopolis! I really wanted Nick and Lindsay to end up together :[. It would've been so cool to see what happened after Lindsay left with Kim in coming seasons. Such a bummer there was only one season.

I went to class, dropped off my essay and then went to Ikea with my mom. I didn't feel like choking her once, it was nice. I got some picture frames that fit the photobooth strips my grandma and I took.

I haven't been on the internet in a while, endlessly looking for nothing until 3 in the morning. The last month or so has been a drag but everything only goes up from here. I get to hang out with Twyla next week, Justice is in two weeks, I'm half way done with this semester, I'm turning 18 and getting a tattoo soon and seeing Beirut. I'm focusing on mentally preparing myself for the most action packed four years of learning and working and lack of sleep. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I get to do what I love and be constantly busy, it's better than sitting around here watching the public library's criterion collection on dvd. And to be completely honest, I hated most of them.

the rough day

today has been harsh.
i woke up into the heat of an argument with my mom, got driven insane by my sister, and my steps towards self confidence were shattered.

I thought I had everything settled to go to college, all there was left to do was get my schedule. The whole point in going to college in the city is to live there. My dad doesn't think I can do it, and is constantly reminding me that I can't. I can't come up with the money, I can't manage the work load. He forgets that I am not one to back down, and I work hard when I want something. His sarcastic smile when he asks when I'm going to find a job breaks everything I've been working towards this last week. He tells me I should go work at McDonalds, and when i reply with a quick "no," he says, "if you wanted to move out so badly, you'd work anywhere."

I want this to be easy, I want to get the fuck out of here, and I want it to be easy.
I want to forget about everything that has happened in the last two years and move on, move out, focus on something I actually enjoy instead of doing everything I don't want to do. Which I feel i have been doing since 4th grade.

Just because he can't get out of this house doesn't mean I can't.

My rage impulses are flaring and I don't know when they will stop.

the magnets

my class was canceled today so i met up with my friend Ian for a lomography filled day. I finished a roll on my Diana +, finally.

He showed me how to use a cap gun, and I bought some magnets that look like kitchen appliances.
Today was really good though, even on 4 hours of sleep. I found out I'm getting at least 500 dollars back on my tax returns, but I'm saving it for half(ish) the first payment on my first month in housing. I need to find a job really quickly, but I won't be there very long because I'm leaving for Peru in the summer. I also don't want to find a job because i want to take these last few months to get all my mental shit together before I won't get a second to breathe for the next four years.

Freaks and Geeks is so good. I'm on disc 4 already! I would like my next man to look like James Franco with the personality of Jason Segal. Mhmm, yes.

the real dreams

i had a dream last night that my entire body was covered in colorful tattoos.
i was sitting down in shorts, just touching my legs and admiring all the work done.
i can still feel them in my hands now.
it's weird how real my dreams are getting.

i hung out in basketball shorts all day, and a green sweatshirt.

the spring

spring is starting soon, a new season, a new start.
i plan on starting a few new projects, trying out some new things.

i want to do as many assignments as i can on Learning To Love You More.
i've picked:
#55, a signifigant outfit
#53, give advise to yourself in the past
#50, take a flash phot under your bed
#39, take a picture of your parents kissing
#33, braid someone's hair
#25, take video of someone dancing
#11, photograph a scar and write about it
#9, draw a constellation in someone's freckles

those seem the easiest to do for now, i'll update you as i finish them.
it's daylight savings now, so its 4:30 am.
i need sleep.

the open house

considering the conditions of my heart in mourning, this morning i woke up in a good mood. I was in such a deep sleep, i never moved once. I had a panic attack at around 3am, and getting to sleep after that was difficult.

I went to the Academy of Art's Open House today. I talked with an adviser and figured a lot of things out. I went over to the photography studios, and showed my portfolio to the instructors. They said I had some great stuff, and i had an "eye" for it. I don't know if thats just a stock compliment though.

My dad tried to talk me out of housing because its expensive, but I will find a way to make it work. We ate lunch and had an in depth conversation. I guess for the past 2 months he's been really worried about me, because all I do is sleep and look depressed, he thought I had no drive. He's happy that I'm going to college, even though its an art school, i think he understands me now. He had no idea so much work went into being an "artist." He said his main concern about me living on my own is that i have zero self confidence in anything I do. He used my soccer "career" as an example, i was apparently pretty good, but I never thought so. I still feel that way about everything I do now. I don't know if it's the expensive aspect about the dorms that he's worried about. I think he doesn't want to accept the fact that I'm leaving and starting my life on my own. The more and more time I spend with my dad, the more and more I don't want to talk to my biological one.

the sink

a month to the day.
you didn't waste any time.
i was right the entire fucking time, you didn't have to lie.


i don't know how i'm supposed to feel.
but i feel like shit.

im waiting for jake.
i don't want anything to do with males until i see Jake again.
June 22nd, i can wait.

"Well, I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago
Or a friend that you used to know
And there below his frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date
And you can't believe that he's really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song"-Happy Birthday to Me(Feb 15th)

i need to get out of here, and have my memory erased.

the college function

tomorrow, is D-day. the day i actually have to buckle down and figure out whats going to happen to me. I'm pretty sure everything is going to work out just fine, no need to worry, it wont fix anything. there weren't any panic attacks this week, which is good news. my portfolio is printed and put together, all i have left to do is sleep.
I appreciate everyone giving me my space and putting up with my shit for the last few weeks, a month exactly tomorrow. I'm still dealing with a bunch of things, only time will fix it though.
i got another new phone, because i couldn't handle not having a full keyboard.

i remember the first time i heard Viva la Revolution by the Adicts in 8th grade, i thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Thats how i hope to feel tomorrow after the financial aid meeting.

the square one again

i felt off the ground today, in a bad way.

it seems my college plans go haywire every time I think I've got them figured out. I met with my high school counselor today, she just needed me to sign some more papers proving I was still going with the mid-year graduate plan(don't you think it's a little late? I've been out of school for two months already). I told her my plans of going to the Academy of Art now since Parsons didn't work out, and she gets this look on her face like I've just shot myself in the foot. She goes on to explain how expensive it is, and how I'll never be able to afford it if I haven't filled out the FAFSA yet. So while she's crushing my dreams/breaking my balls i am simultaneously trying not to cry. I can't even begin to tell you the struggle I've been going through just trying to figure out which college has what I need and if i can even get into it. I felt like i was back at square one all over again.

I came home and told my dad, he says she's an idiot, so we'll still be going to the open house on Saturday. My mom said i might not be able to stay in their housing because it's so expensive. If she wants me to commute and pay for BART every day for 6 hours of school at god knows what time throughout the day, she's insane. I will go to Portland if i can't stay in housing. I can't spend another 4 years in Pacifica, I will turn insane just like she has.

I'm counting on my dad figuring this all out, because he is a master of persuasion and a connoisseur of figuring things out. There has to be a way. Student loans? Work-study programs? My tab after i get my BFA will be about $20,000 a year, so 4 years later, 80,000 dollars? My god. No wonder people don't go to college.

After i filled out the FAFSA when i got home, they told me i was only legible for money if I was in a ROTC program throughout high school, or passed 4 AP classes. I really wish they would've told me this freshman year. My parents have always told me not to worry about paying for college, everything would get taken care of. But now, how can I not?

the sunlight was perfect on my tree

i made this video from a few clips i had from a few days ago. unfortunately, my mom's camera is terribly old, and as a result takes terrible photos/videos, the quality isn't all that great. I seem to feel that way today, at 2 in the morning. I was going through my pictures to add to my portfolio for the Academy of Art Open House I'm going to on Saturday. I only chose a few because i felt that none of them were actually good enough to be shown to professionals. I at least wanted to choose some that showed i have potential.

Brad suggested I send in a picture i took a few years ago, my Sophomore year of high school, for the contest this month. It's of me and my old friend sitting on the ground in this grotesquely green bathroom, ditching class. He does have a valid argument, almost all of my photos are of nature things, I don't even like nature! I rarely go outside these days! I feel that if I had a better camera, and more opportunities to shoot different subjects, I could've had some great shots to show for admissions. I'm actually really disappointed.

If I don't win the contest this month, I will be a little sad, but if i don't attempt it at all, I'll never know what could've happened. So if I go to this open house on Saturday with something in my hands, anything at all, at least it'll show I'm trying, I've tried, I will try.
I need someone to take pictures of before March 20th, my sister is becoming difficult to work with.
i failed to mention yesterday that i've got my ticket to Beirut, thanks to an awesome friend, an also I will be seeing Twyla in about two weeks. Everything is starting to be alright again.

the library contest

i went to class this morning and graded a bunch of papers for peer editing. I don't know what school these people have been to that allows them to graduate writing essays like Buffalo Bill.

So for all the people living in San Francisco, I'm sure you've heard about the Annie Leibovitz gallery thing on Clement and 34th going on until May 25th or so. The Pacifica libraries are having a contest for photographs. The winner gets Annie's new book, but if I win, it'll be something to put on my record, and definately is a stepping stone. The deadline is March 25th, the winner will be announced on April 11th, I've got to get working! I had no idea she went to the Art Institutes in SF, but i guess they don't have the photography program there anymore.

My sister and I walked to the library today to return our books and get a few new ones. I got How To Lose Friends and Alienate People by Toby Young, and 4 movies!
-The Namesake
-The Squid and The Whale
-Crazy
-Good Morning
they have so many good movies there! I am currently reading Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut.

one of my favorite pictures by Annie..John Lennon and Yoko Ono

the best birthday

this year is going to mark the birthday of all birthdays.
during the day, I'll be getting my tattoo, and that night I'll be seeing Beirut.
I really want to go with someone who enjoys Beirut, because seeing them live is supposed to be life changing. They make the most beautiful music i've ever heard. I wish Brad was here.
Speaking of Beirut, tattoos, and Brad; Here is a picture of Zach Condon with his french horn tattoo at SXSW. We always talked about going there one year.


My song of the week is officially Naomi by Neutral Milk Hotel.

"I'm watching Naomi, full bloom
I'm hoping she will soon explode
Into one billion tastes and tunes
One billion angels come and hold her down
They hold her down until she cries."

Just look at how amazing this is.

the escape

give up give up give up give up
love will come again

i can't even escape the thoughts of you in my sleep
i want this to be easy

the full circle

I went to target with my family today and my parents were feeling oddly generous, so they bought us kids all something. I picked out The Darjeeling Limited, Olivia got a doctor's kit, and Jagger got a toy vacuum. I was pushing for the light sabers, but they wouldn't give in. We found a weird thing to ride on, my mom liked it.

i feel like i've made a full circle with my personality. I'm not completely the same person I was two years ago, but I still think the same way, and i still have my quirks. there are lots of things i do that i'm sure no one else does. some people don't have any secrets, or don't like to keep them. I do. I have tons of secrets, even the tiniest of them all, I keep them.
I like seeing things that no one else sees.
I remember summer 2006, Twyla, Katie, and I were hanging out with Jake and Scott, we had just come back from seeing Set It Straight, and Scott was driving. I was on the left side in the back seat. We made a snack break, and were heading back to Jake's house around 1 am. We drove past the Albertsons and I saw the letter E go out in their sign. No one else saw it, but me.
Sometimes i wonder if people throughout my life have seen things in me no one else has seen or will ever see.

What can you possibly see in me?

I want to improve my drawing skills.
i don't know how to tell my facebook how to stop updating me when all of the information presented makes me feel like shit, i want to delete it.