The death

my dog didn't die, but a family friend did. i didn't know her but my pseudo grandma did very well. candace and I have talked about this before, the whole idea of someone being there and then not, is scary as hell. they gave her 6-12 months to live with her cancer, and in 2 days she was gone. death is the scariest thing im afraid of, and it makes me want to curl into a ball and lie here trying to avoid it.

i want to tell everyone i love that i love them right now, but i can't. i can't even speak.