the good list

in the mist of my nervous breakdown, i haven't had the willpower to list any of the good things that've happened in the last 4 or so days. and in no specific order we have;

-My English professor wants to introduce me to the Journalism instructor because she likes my writing and thinks that we should talk. Hmm, curious.
-My room is really clean.
-Sordo is back up.
-I am using my gym membership
-Decided i should rekindle my former love for The White Stripes, (discography download in progress).
-I've been having good hair days
-I figured out what tattoo i'm officially getting on my birthday, for now, until i change my mind.
-Jake watched me dance on webcam for 3 hours
-I have no dirty laundry
-I got a library card
-Paid my late fees at the video store
-Found my bike lock key
-Found hidden Bright Eyes songs

some good things are coming out of all this spare time i have now, i don't know where its been though.

This is the closest to describing how i feel now:

"Did you expect it all to stop at the wave of your hand?
Like the sun is just going to drop if it’s night you demand,
Well, in the dark we are just air so the house might dissolve,
But once we are gone, who is gonna care if we were ever here at all?
Well, summer is going to come and it’s gonna cloud our eyes again,
Theres no need to focus when there is nothing thats worth
seeing,
So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales,
I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details,
They seemed so important at the time but now you can’t even recall,
Any of the names, faces, or lines, it is more the feeling of it all,
Well, winter is going to end and I’m going to clean these veins again,
So close to dying that I finally can start living."-An Attempt to Tip the Scales

this whole ordeal can now be summed up in one sentence; I'm being forced to face things i can't change, and i hate it, but i know theres nothing else i can do but accept it.

stage 3, here i come!