the new friend

i made a new friend today, her name is Anita, and she's from Ecuador. She doesn't speak much English, but i can understand her when she does, and i can also understand her Spanish. i guess thats what i get from being around it nonstop all day in this house. she is having a hard time adjusting to America, and she doesn't understand why everyone here is so fat. i told her its because we're all lazy.
she was having trouble with her p.e. locker and she'd been hiding her stuff underneath the lockers, so i told her i would share mine with her. she's also in my drama class, which is funny because she doesn't understand anything that goes on in there, or any of her other classes. they put her in sociology, and i explained to her that i didnt understand sociology even when its spoken in my language. i told her that english will get easier with practice and hearing it all day, thats how i understood her, from hearing spanish all day for the last year. i told her i'd teach her as much as i knew, i taught her the word "wierd," today. its hard to explain the word "wierd," i said it meant crazy, and made a funny face, then she understood.
she told me about a girl she met who was a "very good person," then she made a motion to shake my hand and made this very deep voice to imitate her, and we started laughing because she said the girl sounded like a man. when she described what she looked like i knew who she was talking about and i laughed because i knew who she was, and i don't like her very much.

nick has tried to talk to her in drama class, and she remembers who he is but he can't understand her so its hard for her to talk to him, she described him as "pequeno nino," which is accurate. she also said everyone here has the same name and same face, meaning we all look the same, and she doesnt remember anyone's name.



so as of today, a foreign exchange student from Ecuador, shares a p.e. locker with me, and is my only friend at school.

the 70's day

the nerves.

PHEW!

the song

o0oo0o child, things are gonna get easiah' 0oo0o child things'll get brighter!
the hills was ontonight, justin-bobby is still insane, and spencer is still an asshole. i gots mad love for lauren, whitney, and audrina, but i can't stand heidi, even before she was brainwashed.

today went as follows:
wake up (ON TIME!), go to school, got some blisters from p.e., started watching Do The Right Thing in film, learned about APR in economics, and fell asleep during the last 15 minutes of class, i dont remember the end of the slideshow, keep in mind i did this while sitting up. called my manager asked her if i could come in at 4 so i could take a nap, but then she said come in at 5, so i got to nap even LONGER, went to work, had a good ol' time hanging out with char, came home watched the hills, now i am here! overall i give this day a 6/10 it wasn't bad but it also wasn't great.
tomorrow will be an 11 because its anniversary time!

the bummer

my future bums me out. i've got a sort of plan now, but i guess we'll just see how it works out. hope it does, because it sounds really nice. and i still have no complete idea of what i want to go to school for, and its really starting to stress me out. and no, i don't have plenty of time to think about it.
and also i, once again, failed to deliver what i really wanted to say. god, i just dont want to scare you away.


life is so stupid and confusing and im starting to get really pissed about it.

the show

last night, keith and i went to a show at Bottom Of The Hill and saw The Morning Benders, Oh NO! Oh My! and almost 15 whole minutes of Au Revoir Simone. I had a really great time, and i was happy i got to see at least HALF of what i went there for, plus Keith. :] (and yeah you're right about that one thing, good lord im such an insecure loser! one day...one day...)
i think i might've found a cure for this mystery cough/wheeze.
my mom has taken it upon herself to level up to the highest level of faggotry, lately.

meanwhile, Candace and i are planning a 70's day, and also how to get alcohol into shoreline amphitheater.

the home

today is a sad day, i dont know why, just some days, you get sad. sigur ros makes me think about the beginnings of high school. i picked them up during the summer between freshman and sophmore year. i remember laying in my bed, dreading going back to school, just absorbing how beautiful the whole album was. i think that was the turning point when i decided i wasn't going to let people get in my way. but lately, this week, everyone has been.

im starting to realize that Keith is leaving and im going to have to say goodbye. im going to miss the comfort of him being there, just to grab and hug. he really means so much to me, and even just now he called just to say hi! im going to miss that too! theres so much i want to tell you, i can't find a way, but i will, dont you worry.

on top of all of this nonsense i think im getting the bronchitis. thanks mom.

the past 24 hours

today has seemed really hectic. i woke up at 6:30, went to school all day, went to work from 3:30 till 9:30, but Keith stayed almost during my whole shift, so everything went by real fast. my dad picked me up, drunk and late, at 9:45, and i didnt get home till 10. i watched teh real world, and i hate almost every character on there now, but Cohutta seems like a cool dude. Parisa is a bitch. I've been listening to some random mash ups lately, and i love this one Flosstradaumus did with Twista's overnight celebrity, and Staralfur by Sigur Ros. its so beautiful!

the school

the first day of senior year, was boring.

the fun day

today was pretty great! keith, olivia, and i went to the city to be silly i guess. we ate some pizza, ate some ice cream, oogled some fish, and got some books. we hung out at union square for a little while, while olivia went crazy running everywhere. i forgot my camera, so i had to use hers all day :[ overall it was a good day, i have no clue if i'll take her ever again, she wears me out!

the past few days

this last week of summer has been pretty great.
spent some time with candace some time at work and some time with keith.
today keith and i went shopping in haight and went some other places, im really exhausted from walking and what not. i got a lot of really cool things for school though, and some kidrobot nonsense! we went to amoeba but i held out on getting anything because i am trying to be good with my money! but heres some silly pictures from the last few days.
regardless of what you might think, candace is not a zombie.

the lazy day

hung out at home, played with my sister outside, decided to go on some sort of dieting/exercise plan, i swear to god, give it 3 days and i'll be bored of it. hmph.

the great day

today was so great, and i unfortunately have no pictures from it, i left my camera at home! i saw keith in the morning, before work, then i went to work, and candace and keith came to visit me! it was the greatest. work went by really fast, and i had a bonding time with erin once again. hmm, life is sweet, sometimes.

the stupid ribbon

ever since i've been without it, everything's been weird and bad. everything is seeming like a struggle. a stuggle to keep you, a struggle to wake up, a struggle to get through work. i honestly have no idea what the hell is going on. i need to quit drinking, after last night, i don't need that anymore. i don't need to be paranoid, or insecure, or pissed off anymore. theres a lot of things i need to start dealing with before it gets too much. things from the past, and what my future might and might not be. im sort of just getting fed up with everyone's childish bullshit/antics/ridiculous statements. i just need to get away for a while, someplace i actually WANT to go, without my parents, just myself. at this point, its absolutely ridiculous to even think of that ever happening.

im sad, and i seriously just want a hug.

The 4FVH334

last night was pretty rowdy, i did a lot of things yesterday though. i went to work in the morning, saw keith and candace afterwards, candace and i tried to sell 30 records to Amoeba, came out with nothing. We went to some boring punk show, then ate some burritos. The entire story of the show is ridiculous, long, and embarrassing. One day, i might write a book where i will tell all of these stories.

the (lack of) ribbon

today was the first day without the ribbon, and it was terrible. i hope to god this isn't going where i think it is. i just need a day to stay home and re-coup from all this terrible bullshit. this freaky weird phase will pass, and everything will be good again, i hope.

eric gave me the best advice anyone has ever given me about life, "dude, just chill."

the paranoia

i freak out about mostly everything there is to know in life. except my job, because its really my last priority although i spent a lot of time there. im paranoid about my sister or brother ever being alone, or going to school, i dont want them to get hurt or be taken or get sucked into bad choices or meet shitty people. i guess its all apart of growing up though. im paranoid that keith will one day realize how ridiculous i am most of the time, and leave forever. im paranoid that nothing in my life is going to work out and im never going to do anything useful with my life.

sigh.

life is frustrating.

just when i had my doubts, the ribbon broke off... nice timing.

the feelings

im sort of feeling that i can be a terrible girlfriend at times. i try not to call at unnecessary times, text excessively, or be annoying. i think part of the reason is that im completely paranoid about doing anything wrong.

the day

i spent yesterday hanging out with candace, goin' to fresh choice and seeing part of a movie. then i had to come home and watch my sister for a little while, which wasn't so bad.
talked to keith for two hours! i was grumpy cause i miss him and haven't seen him in two days, but realized i am just impatient. theres a lot more to say, but i wont.

im getting really sick and tired of giant fun sucking jackasses analyzing my life, then trying to make some ridiculous point that doesn't involve them whatsoever. i mean really, its been about 2 months now, and you're still hung up on this bull shit? shut the fuck up, get over it, move on.

the (future) band

its going to happen, im convinced. its going to be loud and fast and enjoyable and great.
keith took me to go see mika miko tonight and that was also great. i had a lot of fun and i really liked seeing them live. got me a shirt!
i need to start brainstorming some ideas for this band of ours. candace and i are going to band it up on tuesday, hopefully we'll get some great great ideas. im so excited! i need something like this to keep me occupied and keep me happy and hopeful. she's going to throw down some ill beats on a keyboard and when i get my guitars back we'll keep that shit ill. im thinking along the lines of yeah yeah yeahs/bikini kill/loud noises. I CANT WAIT!
i just wanna have a good time!!

the idea! part 2.

okay, so lately i've been listening to a lot of electronic music since i went to see daft punk. i really like it because you dance to it, and thats that. you can dance to it, and after listening to it i feel happy and carefree. well i figure if Uffie can be badass and rap over electronica why can't i? well i can list the reasons why not.
1. Stage FRIGHT.
2. Lack of rapping experience
3. Lack of equipment.

i started writting some lines in my head at work because no one came into the store for 3 hours.

hmm.. maybe someday.

i feel kind of stupid now, actually.

the fantastic boyfriend

this pizza eating god, is the most amazing boyfriend on the planet. i can't even tell you how amazing he is, and i don't want you to find out on your own, because i might have to fight you.
i've been making some personal changes lately, and so far so good. i know it wont last, but im going to bask in this while it is.
im hoping on some school shopping money from the grandparents, my parents, or someone.
i need some new clothes godamnit, im getting to old for jeans and a tshirt everyday. or maybe, im just going insane!
anyways.

keith is spectacular, and great, and wonderful, and i am the proudest girlfriend ever.

the luck

AMEN!

i've had such incredible luck finding music today, well, i dont really know what today is, since its 2 in the morning, and i made the mistake of taking at nap from 9pm to 12, waking up to text and then remember to call keith. i mean, seriously, i've found everything i've been looking for on this one amazing site. i am in such a good mood now! i spent today, (or yesterday?) at great america and decided to wear sunblock, so no sunburn! im so hungry.
i am dying my hair brown today, fuck it!

currently listening:Uffie-Pop The Glock