The Recent Image

This is what I look like these days..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Mix

Tramadol + k + alcohol + green smoke, will send your body and mind on a very expansive trip through the inner workings of your brain. Look how funny I am! Seeing Josh's K face is HILARIOUS!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Interview

Today I watched GG Allin's last interview on Jane Whitney's old talk show, I had seen the beginning with the Club Kids a few times, but I never saw GG on it! I wonder what happened to the cop in the middle of all of them trying to make his point. It's sad that people probably will still agree with him too. It's hilarious how both the club kids (Richie Rich went on to do Heatherette!) and GG Allin are fucking legends now, and that cop is either dead or old and bitter still.

I like how in both the Jerry Springer interview and the Jane Whitney interview all the opposing opinions are coming from the fucking pigs, lawyers, and parents. Every person who could possibly hate punk more than anything on earth.

"Rock n' roll is the fury from within you, rock n' roll is revenge, rock n' roll is your enemy, and I am your enemy." - G. G. Allin

The Vitamin Feeling

I read somewhere that a special hallucinogen can lessen symptoms of depression, for weeks afterwards not just the next day. The last two days I have been optimistic and happy, so maybe their experiment was right.

I am going to a working interview tomorrow, at a cafe pretty close by. I am half hopeing I get to work there and the other half wants me to sleep in for the rest of my life. I am excited to make some money and get my car on the road.

I would kill someone for Mexican food right now
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Vitamin

A few friends, josh and myself took a trip with kristina yesterday. My whole body felt like a cartoon, drunk and quirked somehow. Communication and mobility were especially difficult but incoherent screaming was easy
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Dissapointment

So, New York isn't really working out. Things between Josh and I have hit the fan, I don't have a job, a car, or any money. I'm completely drained of any ambition or faith in myself to continue living like this. It has been close to 5 months since I've felt comfortable or happy. Upstate New York has nothing to offer me except the freezing cold, but I knew this all before I moved here. I have spent almost my entire teenage life chasing after my heart as it bounced from one boy to the next from one state to the next, I just want to be alone and not have to please anyone else. I want to go where I want and figure out what the fuck I'm still doing here and what I'm supposed to do in the future.

Every day I wish I owned a VW bus to drive down the pacific coast into South America. Off the radar, out of the system, 86'd from life. This will never happen, because 6 months from now I will still be suffering somewhere with no money, no car, and no ambition.

If it would make my family feel better, I'd crawl into a hole made of glass so even though I would be hiding from the world, they could still see me and i wouldn't feel so guilty.

I started this blog three years ago depressed, angry, and confused. I don't think anything has changed at all.

The Drive To MD

Josh, John Torn, and myself are on our way to Baltimore to see Integrity, Gehenna, Ringworm, and Pulling Teeth! Starkweather was supposed to be playing but I have heard that they are not. 5 hours on the snowy road in the backseat is the best.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Long Hair!

------Original Message------
To: Blogger
Subject: The Long Hair!
Sent: Jan 6, 2010 4:42 PM

Its been a full year since I cut all of my blonde hair off, and look at it now!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry