The Concentration

This morning I woke up at 12, drove Josh to work, went to work myself, got off at 7:00 and then came home. I'm trying to concentrate on getting my shit together. I do this about every 2 weeks just to put myself back together after days of not caring. I usually come home and dump all my crap on the floor, or go to Josh's and leave all my crap on his floor, and so today after work I decided to clean my room and reorganize my movies that I bought today. Thanks Hollywood Video for the awesome $3.99 sale!

I have to go pick Josh up from work later tonight around midnight, I hope I can stay awake. Usually when I'm too tired to pick him up I just turn up my music really loud in my car so I will be forced to stay awake. I have never felt so tired that I felt like falling asleep at the wheel, fuck that. Since tomorrow we both have the day off we're going to see Milk FINALLY!

I bought an Outbreak shirt just now for $6.00 because I feel the constant need to spend money.

Thanksgiving blew. Josh and Tim came over and made me feel less awkward around my family. We can't all get together anymore because of retarded drama, so I didn't get to spend what used to be my favorite holiday with my favorite family members. Josh made good pies and food while i slept, and then we went over to my Grandma's and had dinner. Awkward conversations, awkward memories of me when I was little, never bring your friends to Thanksgiving.

P.S. no matter how far away you are or how much we don't talk, i will still hate every girl you speak to and love the retarded shit out of you. I think we're moving on? What the fuck is that shit?

The Easy Update

The True Love

The Farewell

"..All I see in you and me,
Is a light in the dark of humanity,
And when the days are done,
I won't forget,
Timid steps - come walk with me,
And with your useless words,
Come talk to me,
There are broken hearts,
Now on your stereo,
But the broken beats are just too slow.."

-American Nightmare

The Mall

Dragged Josh to the mall with me, at least I got a hilarious picture out
of the horrendous experience.

The New Beginning

A few days ago I went to Josh's work to watch him make biscuits and pies
for the next day, I made dough figures.

I'm trying to work on not being such an asshole to myself. I honestly
need to stop eating so much cereal and ice cream, and I need to get more
sleep. My room is so lonely at night it's hard to sleep. I'm extremely
impatient and extremely impulsive, I'm afraid these are things I will
not be able to change. I'm also really hateful and bitter, but I like it
that way.
The last week of lazyness has made me want to get out and fix shit, I'm
working on it.

The Confusion

The last few hours have been difficult. I just switched into this depressed mood I can't get out of. Maybe it's because today is the last day of my vacation from work, and I start reality again at 7am tomorrow. Or maybe because I have 10 dollars in my bank account and car insurance is due on Friday. Or maybe because I realized that I'm extremely needy and I need to learn to chill the fuck out. I miss my mom I miss my sister I miss my brother I miss my dad.

I have everything I want and nothing I need, I don't know if it's worse this way.

The Honest Addiction

I can honestly say that I can't control how much money i spend. It sucks because I love collecting movies and socks and a bunch of other crap. I got paid today, but my job thinks i'm on vacation so I can't get my check until Monday. It doesn't matter though because 75% of it I have to give to my grandpa for my car insurance. Life sucks.

The Election Date

Today is the day! So far, Obama's chances are looking great. I'm still baffled on how McCain won Georgia though.

Sunday night I saw Ceremony, Have Heart, and Blacklisted at Satyricon. It was the best show I've been to since I've been here. I got so pumped seeing Ceremony finally, I have a huge bruise on my left foot, it's massive, and someone decided to walk on my shoulders. Josh hurt his thumb running into a wall pretty bad, we came out beaten the fuck up but it was worth it.

I'm really poor, and Bridge Nine is having a fatty sale, but I enrolled in school at the Oregon Culinary Institute, so fuck it!