The Halloween

Tonight was Halloween, but I didn't even wear my costume. I went to a college meeting at 3:30, didn't get home till 5:00 and didn't meet up with Tim for dinner at The Screen Door where Josh works until 6:00, didn't get home until 9, and now I'm exhausted. I have to work at 5:45am tomorrow, my body is breaking down.

I feel bad for never being home ever, i just feel like total shit today.

The Phone Pictures

Here's Nyx!

My Haircut :)

The chocolate whipped cream at work looks like shit.

And the best drink I've ever made..the pink lady, its strawberry and raspberry flavored, i'm not telling you the secret ingredient though, and it's not creme base!

The Breakfast in Bed

"I hope you always find someone to take you home
To put you into bed, kiss your cheek, and check your pulse
Make sure you're still breathing, with their hand up to your nose
I wish that could be me, but it's just not possible."

The New Tattoo

The World

So like, everyone knows I hate it. I will never stop hating almost
everything and I like who I am. I cannot stress enough how much I hate
being told what to do but yet I still can't control my own life because
my family won't let me. One day you will all regret it when we don't
speak anymore.

The Dead Time

So, no one wants coffee early on Sunday mornings. I've been here at work
since 5:45 and I have made 4 drinks, 3 of them just regular coffees. It
is now 7:22am, and its extremely cold outside. The sun is just now
rising, I wish you could see it, the sky is bright purple and pink.

I went to a pumpkin patch on Sauvie Island with my grandparents and some
other family members. It was really cold and I had been really depressed
all day so I didn't feel like being there. I have been exhausted for the
last three days. I slept over at josh's house thursday night, came home
around 10:30 am friday morning, took a shower and then passed out until
5pm. Friday night I fell asleep on my couch at midnight and woke up
saturday morning at 11am to jake's phone call. Then I did the pumpkin
patch thing and came home around 8, and I passed out at 9:30. I have
gotten a total of 27 hours of sleep in the last 3 nights, but I am still
exhausted.

The Never Ending

I feel like my days are never ending. I go to work at 5:30 am, come home at 2:30, leave to hang out at 3:00, and I'm not home until midnight almost every night. I sleep for a few hours and then start the cycle all over again. The only thing I hate about it is the lack of sleep and the long day at work.

Everything with my family has gotten a whole lot better, we got a puppy, he's adorable. Oh and Josh and I decided to get a kitten, we named her Nyx and she's 7 weeks old, completely black with blue eyes. We're also getting tattooed on tuesday, stoked!

The 40 Hours

This is the first week I've worked 40 hours, five days in a row, and it fucking sucks. I've had absolutely no time to even think or sleep. After work I've been hanging out with some people I met last week, so finally having friends is awesome. We went to sushi and I took my friend Josh to Ikea, he loved it obviously.

I'm really bummed and stressed out. I miss Jake a lot, but I have an awful feeling in my stomach that this moving in January thing is not going to work out. There is absolutely no way I can live by myself, I thought it was going to work but I'm not making enough money now, I never calculated taxes and everything. The worst part is that I don't know whats going to happen to me and Jake. I can't see myself with anyone in the future besides him.


I hate life