The Northeast

I am sort of in the north east states now. We are about to cross into Ohio from Indiana. We tried to get hot dogs in Chicago but sat in an hour of traffic instead. Luckily we got some delicious food from a co-op in Madison in the morning before we left Wisconsin.

Josh and I ate at L'etouile on Friday night, where his friend is cooking at. I feel honored to even been able to eat there, the food was so incredible. It's sad that we have to go to places like that to get fresh, real food. It's a luxury to be able to eat food that hasn't been packaged, preserved, or processed. I could go on for hours about this, l'll stop myself.

We took a few strolls down State St., in the trendy part of Madison. There were a bunch of college-kid marketed shops, a few mediocre pizza places, and one very cool record store called Ear Wax.the sign said "punk and metaI" on it so we definately wanted to see what was up. I bought an Infest back patch, so kill me! I know I'm not crusty enough for it, but it was five dollars. Josh got a rare Melvins tape for 2 dollars.

The cooks snuck me into a few local bars. Since all the college kids were back it was sort of easy. I saw a lot of puke and some dude peeing in the middle of the sidewalk with zero shame. All in all Madison was really really fun, everyone wanted to have a conversation and/or use our cell phones.

We are skipping the rock n roll hall of fame because we are running dangerously low on cash. And all these mother fucking toll booths on these mother fucking freeways are using up all my change. Only 10 more hours till Philly.
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The Half Way

We are about half way on our road trip to New York. We decided to skip out on a few things because we are running legitimately low on cash. We aren't going to the Rock N' Roll hall of fame because we heard it was lame for the price, and we're skipping out on Hershey because it's way too expensive to get in right now. We are staying in Madison Wisconsin for another day to check things out, and thats where I'm blogging from right now. A coffee shop in trendy Madison Wisconsin. I feel so lame!

We have eaten some really delicious food and some really horrible horrible food. We are off to Chicago tomorrow, then driving straight to Philly for the Lightning Bolt show and then to New York.

The Second Guess

I've spent this week being pissed off, I can't help it. I'm broke, have so much to do, and I'm trying to please everyone at the same time. I'm having second thoughts about moving now, but I can't stay here either. It's days like this when I wish that I never moved to Oregon in the first place.

The Room

I've been sitting in the chemo room with my grandma since 9 30 this morning. I've been trying to sleep but I can't because I feel like death is watching me. Everyone is in surprisingly good spirits, but there's this dark cloud that creeps in every once in a while.

This man who left a little while go had a Phd in economics, his wife was talking about all the awards he's won. He could barely speak, he had lung cancer. It was sad to listen to this woman speak about her genius of a husband who can't talk at all now.

Death is so scary, not because it might be long and painful, but because its the end.
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The Loss of Trust

If it isn't obvious, I've got some issues with trusting people. So when I do finally come around and after months of good times, you deliberately betray me, I have a legit reason to lose my fucking mind with anger. The two people I trusted most out here have me questioning their motives.

Danielle, one of the best friends I've made out here, tried to get me fired from the place we both work by trying to make me look like a psychotic liar just because she went back on her word. It's all handled now, but I will never trust her again.

Josh's ex girlfriend is in town which is awesome to deal with. He keeps calling her his "friend" which I'm not doubting but she still is his ex girl"friend." And plus when he got back from New York after Christmas all he could talk about was how much he hated seeing her. After that I knew there was still pent up feelings, which sucks. I felt like he lied to me on Friday night involving something with her yet he still thinks he did nothing wrong. I'm not trying to be that girlfriend, but I can't help feeling like there is something I should be afraid of. I know having her here puts him in a weird place but I'm sure it's even weirder for her. I want to be nice can't you tell? But I can't, because we're girls, and even though we don't know each other we hate each other just because Josh is in the middle. I'm protective, and if I wasn't, it would be like sitting on the freeway with my chest cut open waiting for my heart to be run over by on-coming traffic. Plus her and I are completely different people, so I'm told.

Call me what you must, but I'm not into letting my boyfriend get snatched away by some east coast nature girl who hurt him once already.

(reppin' the west coast till i die!)

The Remaining Days

There is just about two weeks left until the great American road trip goes down. Its starting to really hit me that I'm leaving the last part of my family. I left my immediate family, and now I'm leaving the very last bits of what I have left. I hate leaving my grandma just as she's starting to lose her hair, I can see all the stress on her face now.

In lighter news, yesterday was my last day in the kitchen at Oregon Culinary Institute. I'm really going to miss all the chefs and my classmates. I could go on for days about how much I love that school. I'm really excited to get out there and put my skillz to work, for money.
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The Cutest Kitty

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The Few Weeks

Only a few weeks left to pack until the giant road trip/move. We haven't started, we're lazy. We are making quite a few stops along the way, but if we're driving THAT far, i better see some cool shit.

We decided to camp most of the way there except for in Madison, Wisconsin where Josh's friend lives. Here's a list of places we'll be stopping at;

1. Maryhill, Washington. There is a giant replica of Stonehenge here, the northwest is so weird.
2.Butte, Montana. we will camp and eat here.
3.Yellowstone, Wyoming. We will camp here! I hear there are some wicked hot springs here too.
4.Mt. Rushmore, South Dakota.
5.Wall, South Dakota. Wall Drug. I heard this place is fucking silly.
6. Murdo, South Dakota. 1880 Town, fuck yeah.
7.Madison, Wisconsin. We'll stay here for a few days.
8. Chicago, IL. Wiener Circle! <- - - completely worth watching
9.Cleveland, OH. Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame
10.Pittsburg, PA.
11.Hershey, PA. FUCK YEAH
12. Philly, PA.
13. New York!

I am so excited for this trip.

In other sad news, a man was beaten to death by a bunch of kids on a full MAX train last night. Only in Portland would a man be brutally beat to death while a train full of selfish, careless assholes sat there and watched. You're cool for what you've got Portland, but your people suck. I can't wait to leave this fucking town.