All of my greatest emotions come out at one in the morning on a school night. I have class tomorrow at 11, so waking up at 9 should be no problem.
This is sort of like an itch you can't scratch. I'm confused as to whether I want to stay in San Francisco and go to college here next year. I still am not 100% convinced that I can be a photographer, and if I'll be able to live off of it. If I don't stay here, I don't know where else I'd go. I want a change, I want to start over, a new beginning.
I want to live in Paris and dress in black and wear red lipstick and wake up to open French doors the summer. I want to ride on the back of motorcycle with my dark haired and dark eyed Parisian boyfriend. He will teach me French and hold hands with me all the time. Ian will film this "dark-romantic documentary," so I'd have it to watch in my old age. But in this dream, obviously I'd never grow old!
I don't want to sleep in this dungeon anymore. I don't want to wake up at 12 and watch movies from the library and constantly refresh Digg all day. I want to do something with my life, I need to do something with my life. I feel like I have no purpose. I can't remember the last time I smiled out of pure happiness, it's been a while.
1 comment:
I would suggest getting into an exchange program and studying in Paris. It's not hard to find something like that. Good luck to you.
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