today has been harsh.
i woke up into the heat of an argument with my mom, got driven insane by my sister, and my steps towards self confidence were shattered.
I thought I had everything settled to go to college, all there was left to do was get my schedule. The whole point in going to college in the city is to live there. My dad doesn't think I can do it, and is constantly reminding me that I can't. I can't come up with the money, I can't manage the work load. He forgets that I am not one to back down, and I work hard when I want something. His sarcastic smile when he asks when I'm going to find a job breaks everything I've been working towards this last week. He tells me I should go work at McDonalds, and when i reply with a quick "no," he says, "if you wanted to move out so badly, you'd work anywhere."
I want this to be easy, I want to get the fuck out of here, and I want it to be easy.
I want to forget about everything that has happened in the last two years and move on, move out, focus on something I actually enjoy instead of doing everything I don't want to do. Which I feel i have been doing since 4th grade.
Just because he can't get out of this house doesn't mean I can't.
My rage impulses are flaring and I don't know when they will stop.
1 comment:
Nothing that is worth it is ever easy!
But seriously, don't work at McDonalds.
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