Being back in New Mexico is the happiest I've been in the very longest time. I feel so at home and like myself again. I don't even want to go to Boston anymore, I want to stay here. I forgot how pretty the sunsets are and how well i fit here. I've already cried just thinking about going back to San Francisco.
For the last year all i've wanted is to be alone, and thats what i've done for the last few months. Now, waking up to Jake every morning has completely changed my mind. I never want to be alone, or without him, again. I know that its completely impractical and it will never end up the way I want it to, but I wish i would.
"So please understand that I don't answer the phone,
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls,
Until I can see nothing at all,
Only particles, some fast, some slow,
All my eyes can see is all I know,
But I'm about to give this one more shot,
And find it in myself,
I'll find it in myself."
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