This year is my first Christmas away from my parents and siblings, needless to say it was sad. I had a panic attack all through dinner, it wasn't exactly my idea of "happy holidays." I miss my brother and sister so much it hurts, not being able to be there for them grow makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I would give almost everything up to just go back home even for just a few days. Usually when I'm feeling down about missing home Josh is always there to keep me from crying, instead he is with his family and I should be happy for him.
I colored my hair back to brown, extensions are back in, I feel like myself again.
1 comment:
I miss you so much, that song marriage by the descendents is exactly how I felt about you, I know that you're happy with your new guy but always know that I love you Brandi Michelle Reynolds. I'm glad that you have your natural hair color back and you know I loved your extensions too, you look so beautiful with them. I wish we remained in contact, you are in my thoughts always. I always need your advice but I can never turn to you anymore, it makes me mad at myself, please forgive me.
I hope you know who I am, and I hope you don't ever read this, I just needed to put this somewhere other than my head, I love you with all my heart, I have hurt for going on 7 months now, I can't believe it's been that long, I feel like I turned down the wrong alternate ending path in my life, you were suppose to be with me and I would have had a better life partner but now I just see you with the new guy and I see myself in him and it makes it all the more confusing as to why it didn't work out, I hate myself for even trying and taking a chance once in my life, I should have just let things be and at least I would still be talking to you. I miss you brandi, you broke my heart so bad and I barely even met you, tons of shit reminds me of you, its pathetic. Alright well I feel better getting that out, maybe you'll get a kick out of me spilling my guts, at least I could make you happy once again like I always did.
"When you see me staring at you do you know
what i want you to do? i don't know why it's so,
but it's true! i don't want to have sex with you i
want to be your friend i want to be with you i
want you to marry me now you know what i think
about you" - Descendents, Marriage
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