The Dead

All of this emptiness at work is giving me reason to write. It sucks that all of the assholes I don't miss while they're gone over the summer just happen to be our customer base, because we've been dead at work all summer. Lets just see what topic I can exploit today for my own amusement..

SLEEP

I haven't felt like I've gotten a good nights sleep since last week, and it's killing me. For a while I didn't get that early morning dread of having to pull my lazy dreaming face from the pillow, but it's back, the sound of my alarm is like nails on a chalkboard. I guess it's better than my mother's voice, I honestly believe it was part of the reason why I was so mean to her. Anyone who has to wake me up on a daily basis will subconsciously become my morning hate target.

Sleeping has always been a hassle with me. As a kid I would lie awake until 4 in the morning making pictures out of my ceiling, and as I got older I learned how to do things silently in the dark to not wake up my parents. I used to sit on the floor and sew with my machine with the tiny light and a book lamp during the summers. When I moved out of my parents house in California to Oregon when I was 18, I learned the magic of marijuana, and ever since then I've been able to sleep at night. It's costly, but for actually being able to fall asleep at night, it's worth it.

My sleep has always been prone to react to my surroundings, if I'm sleeping in a stressful environment I toss and turn and wake up in the middle of the night. Living at Lancaster I felt like I never slept, especially in winter. When we moved to Connor's dad's a few months ago, I don't think I've ever gotten better sleep than that. The good feeling has continued into the new house, but just this week I've been noticing a difference. I think I need a break from things, more like people.

My vacation couldn't possibly come any sooner.