The Weight

I feel like there is 1,000,000 pounds cozying up and making a home on my shoulders. There are people my age opening bakeries with money their parents gave them, or money they've been given because of a freak accident. It just doesn't make any sense, I've jumped through all the hoops, I've obeyed, yet I still don't get a fucking hand out. I want to open my tiny pie shop and nest my house full of cute things.

I got a letter in the mail saying that my absent father stopped making payments on the rest of my tuition last year. I owe them about 4,000 dollars now. I guess I was just too blind to see that people never change. He ruined my life from the beginning and now he's ruining my credit and making me poor. I also recently have been informed that i could die at any moment while driving my car because of the horrible rust underneath it. So now I'm car-less.

When am I going to getting a fucking break here? What the fuck must I do to stop life from fucking me so far up the ass that it makes me want to give up? Theres no way I can possibly fight back, except to be pissed off and sad that theres nothing i can do.

But I'll show you all. One day I'm going to have all that I want and get it by working hard. I wont take a hand out, I won't cut any corners. I am sick and tired of being shit on by everyone and everything in New York, I'm not going to take this anymore.