The True Love

------Original Message------
To: Blogger
Subject: The True Love
Sent: Oct 26, 2009 11:15 PM

I wish my body was fueled by Miller High Life so I could drink it all the time, it is truely delicious.

Josh and I started a band with our friend connor, we don't have a drummer yet though. We've written 4 song so far, I'm singing and I guess I'm a bit nervous but I think I will just have to be a little drunk before we play. I don't mind. I tried Jameson today, it was better tasting than Fernet. I really hate it, even though it is fancy.

My weekend is over, time for work again. When I think about, my job is really not that bad. I wish I got pain more.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Fall

------Original Message------
To: Blogger
Subject: The Fall
Sent: Oct 12, 2009 4:23 PM

Fall has arrived in New York. It's getting very cold, there hasn't been a day above 55 since the start of the season. I've just been working like a dog and losing lots of sleep. I still haven't found a car and I still don't have any savings really. We've been looking at apartments but that is a long time coming. Living with Josh's parents is hard, and I'm uncomfortable. Some days I really feel like a fool for moving here, it isn't any more glamorous than any other place I've lived, maybe just a lot prettier in the autumn. I think about moving back everyday, but I came here for Josh and he isn't going to budge as long as rent is free and the band is still together. I feel stuck.

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The Final Product

The final product of my personal life ruining is dull. New York is not anything like what I dreamt about for years. To be honest with you its like Portland with more people and lots of unnessesary advertising. I really miss it there, even the shitty hipsters. I go to work most days at 3am and work between 10 and 13 hours a day. I like the job, just not the hours or my sexist, extremely Italian, boss. It is not at all glamorous, most of the people who work there are over 40, except for the sluts who close at night in the cafe.
Maybe I will convince Josh to move back if the band goes sour, but I doubt it. I feel a little trapped. I don't have a car yet, either. I'm currently at the band practice, but going to these make me angry because its mostly them fucking around and playing a few songs every few minutes. It makes me feel silly for moving out here so Josh could play with them again. I really miss Safeway and nice people, even if they were a little fake. Maybe I just need to toughen up.

Things are really hard right now.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry